Teachers, students, moms mourn Uvalde victims at Texas State Capitol in Austin

“We just wanted to show our solidarity with Uvalde,” Breed explained. “And we wanted to absolutely lay the burden of this massacre on Greg Abbott.”

Protesting the school shooting at Robb Elementary school that left 19 children and two teachers dead in Uvalde on Tuesday, May 24, Breed said she has lost hope in Abbott or either of Texas’ senators, Ted Cruz and John Cornyn, from ever changing.

“I won’t say I’m optimistic, but I’m hopeful that there’s enough carnage and failure on their part that maybe people will think twice before they vote for these people,” she said. 

Breed also scoffed at arming teachers, a notion raised by elected officials, Attorney General Ken Paxton in particular. Her sister-in-law is a teacher and wouldn’t think of being armed in the classroom.

“This is not the job that they signed up for,” Breed said.

Another woman at the Governor’s Mansion, a former teacher who did not want to be named, echoes the sentiment.

“I would have quit if they asked me to carry a gun,” she said. “Anyone suggesting that has never set foot in a middle school.”

Teachers current and former spoke in droves at the vigil held across the street at 6 p.m. A former teacher named Allie read a poem from the perspective of a teacher during a period of gun violence. 

Another former teacher’s voice rose above the sobs of sorrowful mourners at the memorial.

“It isn’t kids’ lives that should be hell. It isn’t teachers’ lives that should be hell,” she declared. “It should be Greg Abbott’s life that should be hell.”

An English teacher named, Amanda (she did not want her last name used), spoke about the power of the pen and Texas’ legislators’ lack of ability to use said tool. Closing out her speech, she showed solidarity with those still working in the classroom, and those who have left the profession.

“I can’t keep teaching like this. I won’t keep teaching like this,” she cried. “We’re exhausted.”

The vigil was organized by students at the University of Texas at Austin, St. Edwards, and beyond, by a nonprofit called the Coalition. Chairman of the organization Dylan MacAdams has a brother in high school who will walk down the aisle at a graduation ceremony that is just two blocks away from the Houston NRA meeting at which Abbott, Cruz, and former president Donald Trump are slated to speak. 

“We know Greg Abbott, Ken Paxton, all of them, they aren’t going to change,” he said.

But he wanted to help organize the vigil because school shootings have become normalized, to the point, he said, that he and his friends don’t always know how to feel anymore. The legislators who have kept gun control laws off the books in Texas weren’t necessarily the intended audience on Wednesday night.

“What I hope for this to do is show the people that there is a community who is fighting for this,” MacAdams said. “And we’re all hopeless, but we don’t have to be hopeless alone.”

Some speakers still, like Erika Martinez, ran the gamut of emotions as they processed the tragedy.

“Lo siento,” she began, almost in a whisper. “The the families, lo siento, I am so sorry.”

But her pain eventually gave way to anger over the continual mass shootings that occur in this country. The number 213 — the amount of mass shootings in America in 2022 to date — was invoked numerous times during the vigil.

“We need to wake the f**k up!” she yelled, calling for direct action after the period of mourning is over.

Chas Moore of Austin Justice Coalition, echoed Martinez, inviting her to sit with him and other speakers as he addressed the approximately 200 people in attendance.

“There’s going to be a big election coming up in November. I’m not here to tell you who to vote for,” he said. “However, if you say you want to do something, but you’re not registered to vote Greg Abbot out? Your ‘F**k Abbott’ is very empty to me.” 

Moore railed against so-called purity politics, or abstaining from voting because a Democratic candidate isn’t perfect.

“This is not an endorsement speech for Beto. That guy is very strange to me for a lot of different reasons,” he said, to scattered laughter. “But I’m going to vote for him because he’s a lot better than that psychopath we have.”

As the Capitol grounds closed and the vigil moved to the front steps outside the big black gates, the mood shifted. Folks walked to their cars as scattered speeches continued. Moms Demand Action announced they are headed to Houston to counter the NRA conference. Another day, another protest, another vigil.

On Tuesday, culture writer and UT Austin alumna Anne Helen Petersen wrote about the Uvalde massacre on her popular Substack, Culture Study. At the end of the post, the former BuzzFeed News reporter described the collective desensitization of a nation that has already seen 27 school shootings this year alone.

“This is our normal. This is what we have chosen to allow. This is who we have become, and this is who we have been,” Petersen wrote. “Voting, on its own, will not be enough to change that. We have to decide: what will be?”

On Wednesday night in Uvalde, in Austin at the State Capitol, and around the country, the living did the only thing they could, for now. They wept for the dead. And they wept for the state and the country that ensures that this won’t be the last time they gather on those steps, candles in hand.