Texas electors pass toothless resolution demanding battleground states appoint Trump electors

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Thirty-four Texas electors just can't seem to come to grips with the fact that this man won the fucking election. - INSTAGRAM / JOEBIDEN

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Thirty-four Texas electors just can’t seem to come to grips with the fact that this man won the fucking election.

Just when you think Texas may finally tire of being a national embarrassment, along comes a new set of yahoos hell bent on seizing the crown from Florida — you know, once and for all.

Case in point: as the Electoral College affirmed President-elect Joe Biden’s victory Monday, the Lone Star State’s electors passed a resolution calling on four battleground states that swung to Biden to appoint new electors willing to vote for President Trump instead. That resolution passed 34-4.

The document, which comes with zero legal authority, requested that the legislatures of Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan and Wisconsin appoint new electors willing to smother American Democracy by overriding the will of their own voters.

Heaping on an additional dose of stupid, the Texas electors passed the measure after the states already submitted their votes, the Texas Tribune reports.

Cue sad trombone.

Naturally, Democratic groups issued news releases decrying the action as yet another authoritarian move from a GOP unconcerned with the will of voters — which, of course, is correct. But, for our money, the most appropriate response came from Pennsylvania Lt. Gov. John Fetterman, who tweeted out the five-word dismissal the asinine resolution warranted: “We’ll get right on that.”

Fetterman followed up the tweet with stark but correct assessment of just how shittily the Dallas Cowboys are performing this year.