How San Antonio parents can help their kids through back-to-school anxiety

Psychiatrist Dr. Giancarlo Ferruzzi of UT Health San Antonio says parents’ concerns can range from safety within schools, especially in light of school shootings, to whether their child’s needs are being met within their education. There are ways to determine whether a student’s school experience can be improved.

“Certainly in each time there is a sentinel event like [school shootings], certainly since Columbine in the late ‘90s to Sandy Hook and most recently Uvalde, there understandably becomes heightened concern, anxiety, fear, worry,” he says.

Ferruzzi says these emotions are more common in parents themselves, but that children, depending on their age, can experience them as well.

“We have both the recent Uvalde shooting, which happened just toward the end of the school year, and some months before that the school closures and continuing to live in a pandemic,” he says.

Ferruzzi says the real world truths like mass shootings and a worldwide pandemic can not only induce anxiety, but also potentially impact a child’s development.

Jennifer Cobb agrees. A school counselor at Gillette Elementary School within Harlandale ISD, Cobb says the length and solidarity of the COVID-19 pandemic brought on a rise of concerning mental health issues within students.

“The lack of social interaction that the pandemic brought caused delayed understanding of social graces, and in many cases, symptoms of depression and anxiety,” she says.

Parents are likely to notice those symptoms and should intervene by instilling routines that calm anxieties and allow various forms of expression to relieve stress.

“If a child is usually outgoing and suddenly becomes quiet, there should be concern. If a child usually has a healthy appetite, and suddenly doesn’t want to eat, the parents should be concerned,” Cobb points out. “Parents can look for behaviors such as significant changes in sleep, difficulty concentrating, angry outbursts, clinginess, separation anxiety, and/or significant changes in eating habits.”

Whether there are concerns or not, Feruzzi recommends that parents simply talk it out with their children.

“What I typically recommend to parents is having a discussion with their children before the beginning of the school year,” he says. “Instead of directly getting into wanting to get a finger on their pulse of how comfortable they are, recap their experiences of summer. Make it an interaction.”

Ferruzzi says talking about memories and experiences from the summer break can help get the conversation started, one that will give parents an indication of how their children are feeling. By observing their facial expression, tone of voice, and mood, parents can get a sense of how their kids are handling the return to school.

“Children can be anxious with the beginning of school for other things as well,” he says. “In talking with your children about this coming school year, ask what they’re looking forward to the most.”

He says questions like these allow them to generally answer what is easier for them to answer, helping them open up to the more serious points of conversation.

“It may have to do with the recent school shooting, it may have to do with normal developmentally appropriate concerns,” he says. “Performance worries or fears, it could be a number of things.”

Ferruzzi says it’s important that parents don’t avoid “scary” topics out of fear that it will instill something in their children. He says it’s important for parents to address these topics and let their children know that they are there to support them, which can actually reduce anxiety.

Both Ferruzzi and Cobb agree that children, no matter their age, are perceptive enough to notice when adults avoid or have a mood change in regards to topics like these.

“It’s important to take a step back to realize how you, the adult, are responding to the shooting,” Cobb says. “Be careful not to watch too much of the news with your child around. They hear everything, even when you don’t think they do.”

Parents should also be mindful of the age of their children when having tough conversations. It’s normal for adolescents and teenagers to not be as communicative with their parents and more with their friends. Ferruzzi says it’s a bigger concern if elementary-age kids don’t share their feelings as much or are avoiding their parents in any way.

Ferruzzi also recommends that families, both parents and students, have open communication with teachers. He says it’s informative for parents to know what teachers observe in their child’s behavior at school.

Teachers themselves may also have a lot of anxiety about the return to school, Ferruzzi adds. Whatever environment they hope to foster in the classroom, teachers will also need to incorporate the requirements of safety drills and emergency exercises with the rise of school lockdowns and mass shootings.

Cobb, who is starting her eighth year at Gillette, recommends that parents review safety practices with their children if such measures have been put into place at their campus.

“Children need to feel empowered,” she says. “The more they know about what safety measures are in place at their school, the more empowered they will feel.”