Hochul and Adams’ stand-up Armory act won’t actually help The Bronx

Only one thing can explain Gov. Kathy Hochul’s and Mayor Eric Adams’ tag-team plan to bring the decades-empty Kingsbridge Armory in The Bronx back to life.

They apparently mean to exploit the comedy void caused by the Hollywood writers’ strike.

But their stand-up act this week fell sadly short of funny.

The imposing, medieval-like armory has languished like a beached leviathan in the bustling central Bronx since 1969.

Hochul and Adams trumpeted that the delay was over and the state and city will each pony up $100 million to “help fund” the “adaptive reuse” project.

But whom are they kidding? Sure, $200 million is an attractive lollipop to a developer willing to take on the job.

The pols clearly want to avoid an earlier debacle when a scheme for a “National Ice Center” — just what The Bronx never clamored for — wasted nine years while a company headed by former New York Rangers star Mark Messier failed to come up with the money.

But the treacle-paced timeline to resurrect the Armory suggests the whole idea is a joke.

A request for proposals from private developers interested in taking over the site is due out next month, with plans to be submitted by year’s end.

That is, to be sure, warp speed by Big Apple standards.

But a winner won’t be chosen until the end of 2024. The project, whatever it is, won’t be done until maybe 2027.

The financial incentive is illusory.

The chosen developer must earn the $200 million with inevitable giveaways and concessions to the “community” and organized labor that might make it not worth the effort.

Any deal to sell or lease the Armory must be blessed by the City Council because converting it to commercial use needs a zoning change among other matters.

Say your prayers!

The council, which is even nuttier than it was 14 years ago, in 2009 shot down by a 45-1 vote a sound proposal backed by the Bloomberg administration for a multi-use facility including lots of stores.

It would have brought hundreds of jobs to the high-unemployment neighborhood. But the developer, Related Companies, couldn’t afford to be shaken down over union-wage and work-rules demands councilmembers backed.

The same outcome is likely again, even with highly able Economic Development Corp. President Andrew Kimball helming the Armory initiative.

Kimball earlier brought glory to the Brooklyn Navy Yard and Industry City in Sunset Park.

But in The Bronx, he must navigate a singularly stubborn minefield of loony-leftist politicians, heel-dragging city bureaucrats, greedy union bosses and community firebrands.

They made their priority clear at the press conference: “good-paying union jobs.”

So did Hochul and Adams, who grovel for union support.

The bullies will again join forces with community “activists” to defeat any economically viable proposal at the Armory.

Just as daunting, the state’s and city’s “guiding principles” for the transformation include such woke-ish imperatives as “prioritize youth,” “maximize community ownership” and “create jobs and wealth for existing workers and communities” — which might appease local demagogues but inspire no confidence that a developer could make a dime.

It’s a pity the city won’t or can’t put the Armory to productive short-term use. Asked about putting up migrants there, Hochul said it wasn’t feasible due to unspecified “environmental” issues.

That scarily sounds like decades of neglect and decay turned the place toxic.

Good luck to any developer brave enough to take it on — and good luck to a Bronx neighborhood that needs all the help it can get.