Column: Wearing masks should be about good will
After avoiding each other for a month, two friends — a skinny raccoon and a chubby opossum — decided to meet at their usual neighborhood dumpster for a bite to eat.
They were both wearing masks.
“Thanks for wearing a mask,” the possum said earnestly as it began to look through the dumpster to check out the nightly special. “I know you think it’s silly, but they’re saying we all need to follow the rules. Besides, I’ve missed you.”
The raccoon responded with a tight, forced smile, which the possum couldn’t see since it was covered by a face mask.
“I’m glad they’re making the masks mandatory,” the possum continued, forcing small talk as they climbed into the dumpster to look for food. “It makes sense. It protects us all.”
“We’re outside,” the raccoon responded, with an attitude. “No que if we’re outside, we’re OK? Or did they change that?.”
The possum, who had come across an untouched steak, froze.
“No, really,” the raccoon continued. “First they said the mask wouldn’t help, but now they say it’s mandatory because it protects everyone else. Then they said if we stay outside, the breeze kills the virus, unless it’s a bar. Or unless someone is standing too close. Or if they’re singing along to the songs in the jukebox. I’ve heard that this one medicine works, then that it doesn’t. If one thing is clear, it’s that they don’t know anything.”
“Um — Hey! Did you hear the Spurs are going to play? At Disney, of course, but we can still watch them on TV!” the possum said, trying to change the subject. “What do you think of that?”
“It’s still going to hurt,” the raccoon sighed, grabbing a couple of empty taco shells. “It’s going to hurt our downtown. And don’t get me started on Popovich!”
This was a bad idea, the possum thought to itself.
“I’ve been keeping busy with puzzles,” the possum said. “And I started watching this show about elephants on Disney Plus. Did you know elepha…”
“Don’t watch TV,” the raccoon snorted. “They just tell you this and that, until they come up with something new, such as protests or DACA or John Bolton’s book.”
Of course they don’t know, the possum wanted to respond. We’re all learning as we go. And the world wasn’t going to get easier. The possum wanted to yell and show its teeth. But amid the soggy bread and hardened tortillas, he realized he still had his friend. And that his friend was a little angry and more than a little scared.
“Cuéntame,” the possum said, handing his friend the piece of steak. He settled instead for a piece of baked potato and listened while el peleonero unloaded because friendship is better than premium leftovers.
