Column: Memorial Tournament would benefit from PGA Tour players LIV-ing a little

COLUMBUS, Ohio — The PGA Tour has a big personality problem, in that it doesn’t have big personalities, which is a problem.

Throughout most of its history, professional golf has touted its character but depended on its characters to help glow if not grow the game by shining a TMZ-type spotlight on itself. For every gentleman Bobby Jones there was a wild-child Walter Hagen, whose idea of a good time included birdies, blondes and brunettes.

“I never wanted to be a millionaire,” said Hagen, winner of 11 major championships and the first professional golfer to earn seven figures over a career that ran from 1912 through the mid-1940s. “I just wanted to live like one.”

For every even-keeled Jack Nicklaus there has been an oddball Mac O’Grady; for every John Cook an alter ego John Daly. But now these sometimes affable, sometimes unbearable and often eccentric personalities are gone, not extinct but playing for LIV Golf. That is bad news for the PGA Tour, and by extension for the Memorial Tournament. Sizzle sells, especially among younger fans. See the NBA.

First things first.

The Memorial is among the best non-major events on tour. It will be just fine. Muirfield Village Golf Club has been a destination spot for the best players since it began hosting the Memorial in 1976. The perfectly-conditioned course, host Jack Nicklaus and those diabolically delectable milkshakes annually attract the top golfers to Dublin. This year’s field so far includes seven of the top 10 players in the world. Jack’s baby still holds cachet among those who play the game for a living.

Fans seek autographs from Jack Nicklaus at the Memorial Tournament on May 31, 2022 at the Muirfield Village Golf Club in Dublin, Ohio. Mandatory Credit: Doral Chenoweth-The Columbus Dispatch

“It’s one of, if not the best events on the PGA Tour,” 2022 Memorial winner Billy Horschel said. “They do everything first class. There’s not a stone left unturned. You think about majors and The Players; I’d put those in their own category, and this one is the next one just below those.”

A defending champion can be expected to offer such platitudes, but money talks even louder than Horschel, and the Memorial has plenty of it. Designated as one of eight elevated tour events, the purse for the 47-year-old tournament jumps from $12 million to $20 million this year, a 60 percent increase. The cash explosion likely will lure players who previously often passed up the Memorial, either because it did not fit their schedule or the course did not fit their eye.

But you won’t see a ton of Breaking Bad-style personalities out there. Horschel has shoot-from-the-lip flair, Jon Rahm has presence, Max Homa has a fun Twitter account and Rory McIlroy has a bit of a Shakespearan tragedy thing going on with how he rises and falls over 72 holes. But otherwise it’s mostly plain vanilla ice cream, which isn’t terrible but could be so much better with sprinkles and mix-ins.

Scottie Scheffler? Great guy. Great golfer. No. 1 in the world. Kinda bland. Two-time Memorial winner and world No. 4 Patrick Cantlay? Stoic. Plus you might fall asleep waiting for him to putt. The most distinguishable characteristic of No. 5 Xander Schauffele is his name. (Related: most golf fans have mixed up Scheffler and Schauffele at least once, proving how one might as well be the other.)

Don’t get me wrong. These guys are good, as in nice. And great, as in the most talented golfers in the world. They are worth watching at the Memorial for their skill at getting up and down from the Bogey Inn. Consider this more lament than criticism. A tour of one-size-fits-all players is less interesting than one that has Lee Trevino tossing a rubber snake at Nicklaus, as the Merry Mex did during the 1971 U.S. Open. Or Daly singing about all his ex’s wearing Rolexes.

PGA Tour commissioner Jay Monahan may not be thrilled with escapees Brooks Koepka, Phil Mickelson, Sergio Garcia and Ian Poulter, but that is one watchable foursome. Unfortunately, none is playing the Memorial, because as members of LIV they have been banned from playing in PGA Tour events. Don’t feel sorry for them. Feel sorry for us.

The PGA Tour needs villains, no different than any sports league. It needs conflict. It needs swagger. It could use Koepka, who won his third PGA Championship two weeks ago. But Brooksie may never walk Muirfield Village’s fairways again, depending how things play out in the PGA Tour vs. LIV cage match.

Bryson DeChambeau gestures to fans prior to hitting out of the rough on the 18th hole during the second round of the 2023 LIV Golf Invitational at Trump National. (Photo: Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports)

I remain skeptical of LIV, which still feels too much like exhibition golf. No cuts? Only 54-holes? I like the team concept, but those silly team names are better suited for a Mountain Dew can. Still, while the golf format leaves me cold, the best-known LIV players run hot. Many have big personalities. Some happily create controversy. One thinks he’s a golf scientist.

The LIV roster resembles a Tarantino movie, full of memorable characters who brandish flamethrowers and drink frozen margaritas from a blender. That doesn’t guarantee viewing success – TV ratings are abysmal, mostly because tournaments are broadcast on The CW – but it keeps barroom arguments interesting.

Garcia is a 43-year-old brat. Poulter is colorful with his clothing and vocabulary. Patrick Reed, who I would label a rules breaker if not for fear he might sue me, is Voldemort. Bubba Watson is from outer space. The only thing bigger than Pat Perez’s mullet is his mouth. Bryson DeChambeau is, well, I don’t know what. Which is the point. These rebels are unpredictable.

LIV cannot compete with the PGA Tour’s depth of talent, but the Tour cannot compete with LIV’s cult of personality. And Tiger isn’t walking back through that door anytime soon. That’s why I hope the Tour and LIV eventually work things out. For the sake of the fans.

The Memorial doesn’t need Lefty and the other loosies for it to remain relevant, but it sure would be nice to have them.